WHY CAN NO ONE WRITE AN E-MAIL CORRECTLY?!?!?!?!

WHY CAN NO ONE WRITE AN E-MAIL CORRECTLY?!?!?!?!
1. Everyone has to throw in some emoticons >: (
2. Everyone has TO constantly USES improper grammar
3. Everyone has to spel improperley
4. Everyone has to caPitalIze raNdom LeTtErs
5. everyone has to leave out capitals that should be there, even in country names, like america, or proper nouns, like american
6. Everyone has to put in >>RANDOM, PUN(TUAT10N`~!!!
7. Everyone has to put random tabs everywhere
8. Everyone ignores proper salutations and closings!
9. Everybody, like, uses, like, the same, like, basic words, like again, and again, and again.

Why can't the Americans learn to write right?

SOLUTIONS:

1. If you can’t express emotion with your vocabulary, why should we consider little faces as expressive?

2. Why do you think it’s called GRAMMAR SCHOOL? So you can play hooky during arithmetic?

3. If you can’t spell it, you shouldn’t be saying it. And therefore, if you can’t spell anything…

4. The rules of capitalization didn’t change with the invention of the internet. (By the way, never capitalize “internet”; it’s much the same as “government”. Any attempt to spell “government” with a capital G will bring about Tolkien’s premature resurrection, and subsequent beatings by said zombie)

5. See above.

6. The point of punctuation is to PUNCTUATE your words: ergo, it clearly demarcates the sentences and phrases.

7. Consult my sister for the rules on tabs. Bottom line, THEY SHOULD NOT BE USED IN EMAILS, EXCEPT TO MARK NEW PARAGRAPHS!

8. The best way to learn the proper salutations and closings for e-mails is to research, in any good English grammar book, the proper salutations and closings for LETTERS. As in HAND-WRITTEN letters! It’s still the same, even online. Check it out: E-MAIL. It is still mail, although electronically transmitted.

9. I must confess, I too use redundant vocabulary. I also am not impervious to the detrimental exhibitions of the modern age.

To close: in drafting this rather lengthy missive, my title was read by Eleanor. She discovered a rather ironic fact: I had written “why can no one RIGHT an e-mail correctly.” And so, I humbly subside in my tirade of textual typos.

But still, the question remains: Why can’t the English learn to speak, and why can’t the Americans learn to write?

I have to do who to the what now?

I don't know why they still send me posts and updates about this.....

Apparently, after a time it's all about what they deserve.
Given their recent liberal attempt to indoctrinate and their insensitive flubs, I wouldn't give them the time of day if they asked for it and I was the only person on the earth with a watch. Take that whatever your names are!

But, the thing that boils me the most. The thing that puts my socks in bunches. That one thing that makes me despise and loath everything that comes from that disgusting channel would have to be: their name change.

I'm sorry, but it is an unforgivable revamp. You might as well change the logo to a little pink fairy with pixie dust coming out of its wand.

A long time ago...about 30 years.

It would seem that despite all of George Lucas's hard work, people still wanted to make this story from long, long ago part of Americana history


Mostly, I must protest Harry Ford's participation in this. But, after Firewall I believe that nothing is too low for the man.

The "Inartful" Dodger

Turns out the White House isn't going to fit American schoolchildren up for brownshirts ...just yet.

Although, as the brilliant and sexy Mark Steyn pointed out yesterday while sitting in for Rush: children are being indoctrinated with liberal agitprop EVERY DAY in the public schools. Obama was/is simply carrying on a longstanding NEA tradition.

I just love this image...

September 1, 1939

by George J. Marlin

Seventy years ago today, Adolf Hitler started the most horrendous war in the history of mankind by ordering the German Wehrmacht to invade and conquer Poland. The Polish army fought valiantly but they were no match for Germany’s sixty-five highly mechanized divisions and 1.8-million troops. By the time Polish resistance ended on October 5, 200,000 Poles were dead or wounded and 400,000 were taken prisoner. But the invasion also set in motion a moral battle that led to the global moral leadership of John Paul II and the Catholic Church’s rise as an institution opposed to all forms of political religion.

Hitler, who despised Poland and held that all Poles were subhuman, ordered his invading army to kill “without pity or mercy, all men, women and children of Polish descent or language.” In the first thirty days of occupation, the Wehrmacht destroyed 531 towns and villages and murdered over 16,000 civilians. Hitler’s aim was more than expanding Germany’s borders; he wanted the “annihilation of living forces” by means of extermination and enslavement. “All Poles,” Heinrich Himmler declared, “will disappear from the world.” The Nazi Governor General of Poland, Hans Frank, told his henchmen: “The Pole has no rights whatsoever. . . . A major goal of our plan is to finish off as speedily as possible all troublemaking politicians, priests, and leaders who fall into our hands. I openly admit that some thousands of so-called important Poles will have to pay with their lives. . . .Every vestige of Polish culture is to be eliminated. Those Poles who seem to have Nordic appearances will be taken to Germany to work in our factories. . . .The rest? They will work. They will eat little. And in the end they will die out. There will never again be a Poland.”

(Read the rest of this chilling yet breathtaking piece.)

The Obama Youth Brigade

"Write letters to themselves about what they can do to help the president."

Like, informing on their parents?